Tips for Reducing Stress During a Divorce (2020)

Filing for divorce can be daunting. It's a uniquely lengthy and complex process, involving multiple other forms of litigation like property division disputes, custody battles, etc. It's not uncommon for contested divorces to take months and thousands, if not tens of thousands, of dollars to resolve.

Given how difficult divorce often is, it can be difficult to focus on the future. And focusing on the future is important—after all, you wouldn't be engaging in a divorce if you didn't think a better life awaited you post-divorce.

Today, we're giving you our best tips and tricks for how you can destress during a divorce, so you can focus on looking toward the future and making your life the best it can be during and after your divorce.

Be Kind to Yourself

Nobody can be perfect all of the time even under the best conditions, much less when they're going through a divorce.

For some people, divorce is the start of an exciting new chapter. For others, it's a deeply painful, traumatic event. Whatever the case, divorce is often an emotional rollercoaster.

There may be days when you have to call out sick to focus on your mental health, or don't perform as well as you usually can at your job or with friends, family, and loved ones. That's okay.

Above all else, you should be kind and cut yourself some slack during the divorce. Try to maintain a healthy mental state and a strong sense of self-worth throughout the process. If you're feeling down and out, consider speaking with a certified psychologist to develop coping mechanisms that can help you deal with the divorce more healthily.

You can use the American Psychological Association's psychologist locator to find a certified therapist near you who can help you work through the divorce.

Don't Assume Divorce Has to Be a Battle

When most of us think of a divorce, we think of a long, drawn-out battle in the courtroom. But that doesn't have to be an accurate reflection of your divorce.

Other forms of alternative dispute resolution (ADR), like mediation, provide more peaceful, negotiation-focused paths toward resolving the dissolution of your marriage.

Even if you and your ex aren't on the best terms, you should still consider ADR methods like mediation or collaborative divorce. Don't do it for your soon-to-be-ex—do it for yourself. Resolving your divorce more peacefully enables you to move on more quickly after your divorce, increases your chances of getting what you want out of the process, and helps lay the foundation for a good co-parenting relationship moving forward (if you have children).

However, it is worth noting that most of the "peaceful" divorce alternatives rely on both parties engaging in good-faith negotiation to succeed. If your partner isn't willing to put their best foot forward, a more combative form of divorce resolution, like litigation, may be preferable.

Find Someone to Talk with

We mentioned working with a therapist earlier, and we'd like to reinforce that advice here. But a therapist alone isn't always enough.

Having a support network can do wonders for helping you deal with a divorce. Don't be afraid to confide in friends and family and rely on them for a source of support during your divorce (to a reasonable extent, of course). You might also want to consider joining a divorce support group in your area, as well as participating in clubs for hobbies you enjoy doing.

The fuller your make your life, the easier it will be to maintain your mental and physical health throughout the divorce. Having multiple sources of support, like a therapist, a support group, and a hobby club, creates a good environment for dealing with the stress of the divorce.

Don't Suppress Negative Feelings

Most people don't like feeling sad—no surprises there. But suppressing negative emotions won't help you move on post-divorce.

When you experience a negative emotion or thought, examine it. Try and understand why you feel that way, and what you can do to address that feeling.

The more you honestly and thoroughly process your feelings, the easier it will be to truly move past negative emotions and thoughts, instead of suppressing them. The more holistically you deal with negative experiences during your divorce, the easier it will be to move on after your divorce.

Having an experienced divorce lawyer at your side can be instrumental for healthily dealing with your divorce.

To receive help from a divorce lawyer who will give you the care and compassion you deserve, contact us online or via phone at (631) 237-9525.